23 March 2016

5 Minutes with jlrubbyj57

I received this reply from the following email address: smshanemcgowan@gmail.com, which had the display name of Shane McGowan (any Pogues fans out there?). When I asked for a Capra username, the emailer replied that his Capra name is jlrubbyj57.

1/What If Sports. How long have you been on the site, and how did you end up here? What is your favorite game here? Favorite team or experience on the site?
          Barry Bonds and Bud Selig are in a conspiracy together to boost television ratings. Mr. Selig on 2 occasions (Dec.10, 2001 and Feb. 6th, 2003) met Mr. Bonds at the I-70 Steak and Shake, booth #11, made an under the table cream exchange, needles, HGH, as Mr. Bonds provided Mr. Selig 22 thousand for his services. I planted a bug in booth #10, Robert Novak and Judith Miller have copies of the transcripts. 

2/Sports. What are your favorite teams in the real world? Favorite players and/or sports memories? What drives you crazy about sports or sports culture?
          Barry Bonds is responsible for getting me Federally indicted in Houston, Texas, case #H-30-90, because I threatened to expose his and Bud Selig's steroid/cocaine abuse. Bonds committed identity theft in my name, put a Lendingtree.com mortgage on my credit, burned it down to collect insurance. I had a fraud alert on my social.
 
3/Music. What are the last three things you listened to? All-time three favorite artists? Best show you've seen? 
          Barry Bonds on June 22, 2004, bench pressed me against my will to show off in front of his ballpark buddies. I also witnessed Mr. Bonds selling steroids to nuns.

4/Aside from sports and music, what are your favorite hobbies, films, books, etc? What might surprise us about your interests?
           Barry Bonds uses Hank Aaron's corked bat during ballgames. The bat has secret chambers where Barry stores his HGH supplements. Bonds takes them while he waits in the batters box. Bonds left a voicemail message on my I-phone, made threats toward me.

5/Survival. Where are you from originally, and where are you living now? How do you pay your bills, assuming you do? 
          Mr. Bonds gave mustard gas to Saddam Hussein, part of the oil for food scandal. Mr. Bonds is using my copyrighted name for profit. 
          Plaintiff prays for relief. Asking the Honorable Court to compel Bonds to give me my identity back. 
          Plaintiff also seeks restraining order. No more baseball games played on the FCI Williamsburg T.V. sets. May peace be with America forever.

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