09 August 2014
Our meeting with the five AL MVP nominees occurred just before the start of the Wild Card of the S32 Capra Playoffs.
Reporter: Hello guys, nice to meet you all, thanks for taking some time out of your busy schedules for this interview.
Andrew Flores: Busy? Shit, dude. We've got a first round bye! I'm spending the week catching some tasty waves with some international supermodels at my home in California.
Javier Nunez (elbows Flores): We're very thankful to have finally won our division and had the opportunity to spend some time with our families.
Reporter: Bosco, the media has you pegged as the favorite to win your third MVP award. You'd be the oldest player to ever win the MVP. Do you feel old?
Bosco Gleason: Old? I'm not old, I'm Batman!
Reporter (shakes head): That's an interesting point. Kaz, you'll be a free agent next year. What's your plan?
Kazuki Saitou: Well, it's nice to be able to play half-speed all year in the AL South, but the poor state of the facilities and the calorie count on all the meals at Cracker Barrel make me consider leaving. It'd be nice to go somewhere that felt like it was in the Major Leagues.
Andrew Flores: Dude! You could play with us!
Reporter: Isn't that tampering?
Andrew Flores: I'm not the owner. I'm just saying that the AL South is bogus, and if Kaz doesn't move to a cool division - pronto - then he's going to just be bogus too!
Reporter: Andrew, that's an interesting necklace you're wearing.
Andrew Flores: Because I just straight up got paid! I make more money than Junior Hernandez! A cool buzz and some tasty waves are fine, but Andrew is all grown up and he needs some money! If you want to wing over to England and jam with the Stones, those tickets cost money!
Reporter: Well, good luck to all our nominees! We'll all be watching the playoffs!
Andrew Flores: That's it? There's no birthday party?