Skip to main content

Dransfeldt leaves

By

Michael Dransfeldt
Jacksonville, AR (AP) - "I'm taking my talents to Huntington."

And, with that statement, Michael Dransfeldt became the second most hated man in Cleveland.

Speaking at a press conference in his hometown, Dransfeldt stated that he felt that Cleveland was too cosmopolitan and snobbish for his tastes.

"I hated that place, man. They were a bunch of snobs that never accepted me for who I am. I like to drink warm beer out of a can. I think it is more convenient to have my washing machine on the front porch. I don't even like to wear shoes during the offseason. Huntington seems more like my kind of town. Heck, it can't be that big, I'd never even heard of it."

Cleveland owner and GM dcbove appeared dismayed about how the negotations had ended. "We had offered him a large extension last season and had a 5 year, $85 million deal on the table when he signed elsewhere. He just didn't want to come back."

The Spiders will miss Dransfeldt's production on the field. He had 9 Silver Sluggers, 5 Gold Gloves, and 8 All-Star appearances in his 10 years as a major league 3rd baseman. He was an MVP finalist 9 times though he never won an MVP. However, GM dcbove said they won't miss his antics off of the field.

"It is hard to understand such a horrible lack of loyalty. We squashed the rumors that he had fixed games during the Season 16 playoffs when he hit only .188. We covered up his meth addiction and the subsequent relapses that led to such a substandard Season 19. We overlooked his questionable relationships with prostitutes and farm animals. Apparently Michael did not appreciate our efforts."

Cleveland has already stated their intention to move Enrique Astacio from shortstop to third base and call up Tony Plata to play shortstop. Rumors have swirled that they've dangled Gil Thornton and Devaris Barker in an effort to acquire a corner outfielder.

"I can't comment on any deals," said dcbove. "If we can find a bat to replace Dransfeldt then we'll make a move. Otherwise we intend to rely on some of our prospects. With all the money that we'll have lying around, we expect to be huge players in the IFA market this year."

As for Dransfeldt? "I plan on drinking a quart of Wild Turkey tonight and then driving my truck out into the swamp to shoot me some racoons. Just like every Saturday."

One can only imagine that his old neighbors in Cleveland won't miss him. His production, however, will be sorely missed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anaheim Anteaters Future Shock: Top 10 Prospects

By
1/ SP Hugh Palmer . Age 24. AAA. ETA: S10 Selected 13th in the 1st round of the S6 draft, Palmer dominated the lower minors and has averaged a 16-4/3.35 record in 3 minor league seasons. Palmer's big calling card has been the punchout as he's K'd 502 batters in 51o frames. His heater is in the mid-90s and still developing. Palmer comes with 2 good pitchers, the fastball and slider, but could use a better forkball and curveball to sharpen his repertoire. Palmer's about a season away from the bigs and projects to a solid #2 or #3 starter. 2/ SP Vasco Almonte . Age 22. AAA. ETA: S10 A former 1st round draft pick by Atlanta/Chicago, Almonte was traded to Anaheim for fellow prospect Tony Mendoza . Almonte has been consistent in the minors, if unspectacular, with a 4.15 era and 1.32 whip. However, Almonte is just 22 and has progressed quickly through the minors with a AAA season already in the books. If he continues to develop his fastball and change-up he can become a stalwa...
Post a Comment
Read more

HBD Ballpark Factors

By
Ballpark effects are ranked on a scale from - 4 to + 4, based on their impact on hits (1B), doubles (2B), triples (3B), home runs to left field (HR LF) and home runs to right field (HR RF). The more negative or positive number, the more extreme the effect for that hit in that direction. These numbers are just indicators of the relative effect in the simulation engine. They are important for users and founded entirely on historical fact, but are meant for display purposes and not explicitly used in the simulation engine. City/State Ballpark Capacity 1B 2B 3B LF RF PF Division  Albuquerque (New Mexico) Isotopes Park 11,124 4 4 4 1 0 1.211 West  Anaheim (California) Angel Stadium 45,050 0 -2 -2 0 0 0.951 West  Atlanta (Georgia) Turner Field 50,062 -1 -1 0 1 1 0.950 South, East ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Recent HBD Update

By
The March 6 update to the HBD engine features some important developments we should all be aware of. mnnorthstars mentioned one of these in the chat page: Spring Training playing time now has increased importance. Specifically, those with adequate playing time could get a friendlier boost in ratings, and big league players who don't get enough playing time can take a hit in their ratings. This latter element is the key thing here to note. As far as what equals adequate( or as tzentmeyer called it "enough") playing time, we don't know yet. Since this update is so recent, there have yet to be any studies in the forum. Before the update, I tried to get as many players as possible 40 at bats and 15-20 innings for starting pitchers to capture the Spring ratings boost. Perhaps when ST is over some of us can report back here with the varying results of playing time. The other update to the engine involes rookies and big league service time. Previously, you could call up rook...
4 comments
Read more